Having Written I Cannot Write

Alone and isolated, by almost all but one,
Tears lay dormant, manifesting silent mood swings
Deep sadness and disaapointment
A gloomy stillness pervades my being
There is knowledge that this wont last
That the people with the best intentions
And genuine goodness are often tested, persecuted
Left alone and solitary
To see if they can choose
Between self pity and fortitude
Questioning and acceptance
Hate and compassion
Victimization and empowerment
Fear and belief
I know the path i will take,
The path i am meant to take,
The path i cannot but take
Yet right now, i am tired of fighting the gloom,
Staying silent and patient through the blame
Trying to surrender but failing miserably
Tired of the voices in my head,
Exhausted with the effort to accept in silence
I will be delivered, I will empower myself to be delivered
Just right now lord, i feel so human, so vulnerable, so cheated.
I cannot dance and so i write,
I cannot speak and so I write,
Having written i cannot write.